O.K.  So my baby is out there circulating the literary world. 

But he’s changed a bit.  I again reworked the start.  After four years you would think I would have it down.  But no.  The first chapter just didn’t pull the reader in enough–there was too much narrative not enough dialogue.  So, I did some soul-searching today and typed away. 

I was motivated to take one more look at the first chapter, after a literary agent requested I send her part of my manuscript.  I was planning on spending a few minutes and ended up rewriting for several hours.  Can you say thumb spasms?

 I almost deleted the agent’s request before I even read it.  For some reason (???) I woke up this morning thinking I should check my spam mail.  I hadn’t in over a month.  And wouldn’t you know it, intermixed with ways to make the big ‘O’ last longer, there it was.  Short and simple, and a refreshing change from all of the generic rejection letters I’ve received.  (Well, it’s really only been four, but it feels like a zillion and two)

I think my favorite part about the two sentence agent response, (that I read over two dozen times, and even out loud to my three sons), was the last part.  After requesting my pages, she wrote the word Onward! 

Onward! resonated with me, because last night about eleven o’clock I was ready to put the whole manuscript in a closet for a year.  In fact, I spent two hours working on my second book, a charming women’s fictional piece, that I convinced myself will be so much easier to publish than my last.  Ha! 

I just wasn’t made for rejection, I tell you; even if it is just some person on the other end of a computer reading my one page query and pressing a automated reply of No Thanks! 

God knows I faced enough rejection in my life.  He really knows.  Heck, those of you who had a chance to read my sample chapters posted here this summer know too.  Would it be nice to have a tough skin and not care.?  Hello! Yes.!  But then I wouldn’t have written the book.  And then I wouldn’t send queries… and then there would be no rejection….Hey, wait a minute; this isn’t going where I intended.

I realize letting the world know I sent out a few pages of my manuscript to one agent is like letting the world know I’m pregnant before I even saw the double-lines on the test strip.  But I promised.  And a promise is a promise.

Just don’t be suprised when you see my next post in four days telling you the agent sent my SASE (that’s book-talk for self-addressed stamped envelope) back with a generic rejection letter.  Oh, by the way, I already read her standard rejection letter–would you believe it’s alreay posted on their website?  At least I’m prepared.

Of course I rushed to the post office to mail my manuscript pages today.  And wouldn’t you know it, the postal worker is writing a book too.  She’s on the first chapter.   I said, “Good luck,” and asked all of the nice inquiry questions, and then added, “It took me four years.” 

Her eyes popped open then, and she smiled, saying, “Oh.  It shouldn’t take me that long at all.”  I could here the next part in her head.  “I’ll be done with this in a year, poor thing, must not know how to write.” 

I think I’d like to go back and talk to her in a year.  See what progress she has made.  Her story sounds good anyhow.

What I did absolutely love about this postal worker was her faith in a higher power.  She asked, “Who do you ask for guidance when writing?”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by this question at first, thought maybe she meant a saint, and of course drew a blank on every living saint, except Patrick, and then felt like a fool.  All of this in a second.  But then we chatted a bit (even though there were a good eight people in line behind me giving me the evil-glare, and I never did list a saint). Then she did the coolest thing–this after I realized I forgot to stamp the self-addressed envelope, got back in line in a panic, and had her cut open the envelope.  What did she do?  She chose stamps.  Not just any old stamps; she was careful in her selection.  She put on Bob HOPE stamps.  And as she was sticking them on she said “hope, hope, hope.”  Then she said winking, “I’m adding your two cents now,” and stuck on a couple two cents stamps. 

I joked and said, “Maybe we should go have the whole thing blessed by a priest.”  We actually both nodded at this point, and I was thinking at the next opportunity, I probably would search out a Reverend, a Buddhist, and any other praying soul I could get my hands on.

Yes.  All this, and almost seven bucks, for a few pages that will most likely be headed back my way in a few days with a rejection letter I already read.  Hmmm???

The best news ever is I read the first ten pages to my ten-year-old son and he actually said he liked it.  Now this is HUGE.  Even if he said his favorite part was when one of the characters said shit.  Hey, I’m a struggling writer, I’ll take a compliment anyway I can.

I guess for now I’ll keep visualizing a phone.  That’s what I plan to post on my blog when I get the call, a big phone.  So take a moment to visualize with me, would you?  Send love to that envelope with the Bob Hope and two-cent stickers and visualize a gigantic phone–the biggest one you can.

After that how about a colossal bar of chocolate, a million bucks, and a date with Jesus—What the heck, I’m shooting for the stars, aint’ I?

 Until my next ramblings ~ Love to You ~ The Spectrum Mother.